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Grief: Encouraging Words For The Broken Heart
It sneaks up on you. Grief, I mean. Especially now. Looking around and seeing happy faces while you sit with the broken heart of loss is extremely hard. So between loss and healing, besides crawling in bed throwing the covers over their head until after the new year, does one make it through?
One. Step. At. A. Time.
Grieving the loss of a loved one is tough to balance with how one is “supposed” to feel during the holidays.
The first Christmas after my Mama passed away was the strangest time, as we had never been without her. I remember feeling a bit numb and in the twilight zone. I did my best “not to go there” yet went through the motions.
The first year was a “get through it,” and exhaling a sigh of survival was the marker of success.
At first, it was too painful to see or hear any reminders of her. But eventually, as time passed, I found myself letting the wall down a little at a time and allowing the memories to creep back in.
Then, when I was ready, doing things Mama used to do made me feel like she was close.
We have sausage balls with mustard at our Christmas family gathering, and you will find me wrapping colorful bulb lights around our tree. In this, Mama is a part of what we were doing.
It’s healing.
The feeling of her not being with us never goes away, but adjusting the focus to the treasures she left behind makes it tolerable.
Are you facing the challenge of the recent loss of a loved one right now. If so, I’m so sorry, friend. I want to give you the biggest hug and sit while you tell me all about them.
Grief is a reality all unto itself. Not everyone walks the journey to healing the same and giving yourself space to find your rhythm is okay.Indeed, it is okay to not be okay until then.
I caution you not to press or push everything away in the thick of it. Ignoring the pain banging on the door of your heart will only prolong the process.
The hurt of loss doesn’t leave, as one cannot outrun grief. Sigh, I sure wish we could. As Robert Frost says, “The only way out is through”.
Be encouraged today. Loss and pain are not overwhelming to our Heavenly Father, and with His help, it’s possible to walk through what you thought you never could.
How so?
The original Hebrew meaning of the verse is paraphrased as, “The Lord is near those whose innermost being has been wrecked, crushed, broken, and/or shattered, and saves those whose pride and self-sufficiency have been completely destroyed.
What is this saying?
The Lord, our God, is close to those who are hurting, but as we surrender our natural pride and mindset of doing it alone, He can step in to provide whatever we need.
I don’t know about you, but when I’m hurting, I not only want someone to be near, but I want them to be able to DO SOMETHING. What about you?
Walking the grief journey has taught many lessons on how to be honest and raw in my conversations with God.Sitting down with a journal and pen helps me move my jumbled thoughts into a place as an attempt to make sense.
Once emptied of the weight, I ask the Holy Spirit to come into the chaos I had just spelled out. Saying that I cannot do it alone out loud makes it real, and there is no backing into the corner of denial.
Many times the ink-to-paper moments become several times-a-day episodes to the tune of “Oh, and one more thing….”.
Yet, there is never a time when I was stranded to fend for myself when I’m completely open. Honestly, my shoulders feel much lighter, and sweet peace blankets the fiery blaze of grief.
I encourage you to try it. Please write it down. Before you know it, you will soon have a treasured written record of your grief journey and God’s faithfulness.
If you would like to know more about having a relationship with God through His son Jesus Christ…GO HERE.
Because this time of year is tough for some, I have asked my Hopewriters friends to share their beautiful writings on grief. I pray you are blessed by their words of wisdom and encouragement.
Tina Akridge- Weekly devotions/blog posts on grieving well.
Cara Blondo has a beautiful Christmas reflection reading plan “The Message of the Manger” on You Version HERE.
Cathy Brooks from Cathy Writes– “The Bread Aisle”.
Rosann Coulon from Leaving A Well– “A Christmas Prayer For Grieving Hearts”.
Dorina Lazo Gilmore-Young- “The Dance Of Grief And Glory Through The Holidays.”
Jodi Rosser- “Grieving Through The Holidays “
Jenn Soehnlin from Embracing Life- “Reason For the Season”.
Jeri Lynn Wilkerson- “Gifts From God In Grief“ featured on The Uncommon Normal by Twyla Franz.
In case you missed it, read last week’s holidays series post, “Gift Giving-Three Ways To Make It Easier On A Tight Budget.”
I’m Praying For You,
